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What Mothers
Are Really Worth
Stay-at-home
mothers wear many hats. They're the family CEO, the day care provider,
accountant, chauffeur, counselor, chef, nurse, laundress, entertainer, personal
stylist, and educator. Based on a 100-hour workweek, Salary.com has estimated
the fair wage that a typical stay-at-home mom should earn for executing all of
her daily tasks.
Salary.com
Mom Methodology
All salaries are
based on a national average. Job titles are listed in order from largest to
smallest component of a stay-at-home mom's job. Job titles and responsibilities
were considered and weighted on a scale of importance and frequency, upon
consultation with stay-at-home moms. Salary is based on a 100-hour workweek.
Stay-at-home mom median salary assumes that the mother has at least two children
of school age.
"People
might think that stay-at-home moms are sitting around eating bon-bons and
watching soaps, when in reality, we're working several jobs at once. And, we're
doing it 24/7 with no vacation days, holidays or even sick days," said Jen
Singer, creator of www.MommaSaid.net,
a Forbes Best of the Web site for at-home mothers. Singer added, "many
stay-at-home moms are on the job upwards of 100 hours a week. That would be a
whole lot of overtime if we got paid."
"Mothers are
responsible for the mental and physical well being of the family - putting a
price on that isn't easy," said Lena Bottos, compensation market analyst
for Salary.com. "But we looked at it as what you would have to pay other
people to do the same work if the mom weren't there."
Even if these
mothers were getting paid what they'd be worth on the market, Bottos added that
they still wouldn't be adequately compensated. "When you take into account
that it represents a 100-hour work-week, and doesn't even begin to factor in
that they are on call 24 hours a day, it's not so large. Plus, stay-at-home moms
get no benefits in terms of pension or 401(k)."
A Labor of
Love
"I had zero
experience taking care of children before I had my own," said Laura Mercer,
mother of two boys and professional stay-at-home mom outside of Las Vegas, Nev.
"Being a career woman most of my adult life, the thought of being a
stay-at-home mom didn't even occur to me."
Instead of
donning a suit and pumps each morning in pursuit of the corporate American
dream, Mercer gets gussied up in kid-proof clothing to confront a very different
challenge: maintaining a household and raising two energetic boys. Like most
stay-at-home parents, Mercer acts as cook, maid, driver, disciplinarian, and
tutor - all without monetary compensation.
So why do
thousands of career women nationwide opt to put their careers and salary-earning
potential on the back burner to stay home to care for their children? Reasons
can range from the exorbitant cost of childcare to deep emotional attachment,
but one thing is clear: being a stay-at-home parent is a full-time job.
CPA and
stay-at-home mother of two Wendy Schulze of suburban Massachusetts had
reservations of her own about staying in the workforce. "I looked into day
care, but I wasn't comfortable with it," she said. "And with two
children, it's really not worth it to put both of them in day care."
Finances aren't
the only, or even the biggest, reason for a parent to stay home and care for the
children. Kansas City, Mo., stay-at-home mom Tiffany Allshouse was worried about
her daughter's most formative years being defined by someone who wasn't family.
Neither she nor her husband has relatives in the nearby area to help out.
"The thought of a stranger - not Mom or Dad - being her primary caregiver
is horrifying to me, even if the day care is the best around," she said.
Perks and
bonuses
"She gets up
around 6:30 in the morning to have a bottle and a diaper change," said
Allshouse of her daughter. "When she's finished, we spend a few minutes
just lying there together. I usually try to remember that this is a time I would
not have with her if I were working and rushing her off to day care."
Schulze also
takes note of the little things when caring for her two children. "I get to
see everything, the first step, the first word. We have a lot of fun, we laugh
and giggle," she said. "I know that we would still have that if I was
working, but I don't know if I would have been the one clapping my hands,
telling them 'You can do it!'"
Not only are
stay-at-home parents able to spend their days with their little ones, but they
usually get some down time to attend to their own needs during naps and play
dates. "The spontaneity of the daily schedule can be kind of nice once you
get the hang of it. After years of 9-to-5 jobs, it's a nice change of
pace," said Erin Livingstone of northern Texas.
All three women
are able to pursue hobbies they weren't able to give attention to while working
out of the house. "I love to read and have an insatiable appetite for
books," said Allshouse. "Staying at home has given me time to read
books that I've been wanting to read for years, including classics and current
works."
No raises,
no sick days, no adult interaction
For all its
priceless benefits, being a stay-at-home parent means no salary, unless the
homebound parent works out of the home on a part-time or contract basis.
"The worst part is the lack of pay," said Livingstone. "And the
hours - it certainly isn't a 9-to-5 job. Being on duty - or at least on call -
24 hours a day can really wear you down at times." When she has time to
herself, Livingstone keeps current in graphic design, her pre-motherhood
profession. She hopes to start working out of her house on a part-time basis in
the future.
Mercer, who plans
to expand the Web design business she runs out of her home, also pointed out
that stay-at-home parents don't get sick days. "Mommies can't get sick
because young children still need care." She remembers a particularly nasty
flu she contracted when her children were two and four years old. Unable to get
out of bed and prepare them breakfast, she asked them to "to go in the
kitchen and do their best to get some food because Mommy could not look at food
at the moment." When she made it to the kitchen, she discovered a blanket
of Cheerios on the kitchen floor, the refrigerator door wide open, and her kids
sitting on the floor eating a bowl of strawberries. "I crawled back to bed
and they ate a great deal of Cheerios that day," she added.
"I don't
have a lot of adult interaction these days," said Schulze, who without
hesitation named lack of "adult stimulation" as the worst thing about
staying at home. She's made a conscious effort to get involved with activities
outside her family life. "I would have probably done these things anyway,
but I wouldn't have stressed it as much as I do now."
Returning
to the workplace
Allshouse,
Livingstone, and Schulze are planning to stay home until their children start
school, and then move back into the working world part-time or out of the house.
"I might go back earlier but it would greatly depend on what kind of
opportunity it was," said Allshouse. "There is really a dearth of
part-time work available for moms who want to stay home but still keep their
minds and talents engaged in the work force."
Mercer plans on
staying home until her children are in college. "I plan on being home for
them after school when they are teenagers," she said. "That is when I
got into the most trouble growing up, so I want to provide a nice place for my
kids and their friends to hang out." She plans on working part-time while
her children are in school, but she and her husband want to have at least one
parent home for the kids in the afternoon and evening.
In The Price of
Motherhood, author Ann Crittenden comments on the professional hits that
stay-at-home parents take. According to her, mothers pay too large a lifetime
price in lost income and status because of the time and energy they devote to
their children. "Raising children may be the most important job in the
world," she wrote, "but you can't put it on a resume."
And, the longer
moms take before returning to work, the higher the price many of them pay in the
long run. After all, nannies and babysitters qualify for Social Security
benefits; stay-at-home mothers do not.
Far-reaching
effects
Even though
stay-at-home parents aren't included in Department of Labor statistics, their
type of "non-wage labor" adds incalculable value to future human
capital. Mercer hopes that by staying at home, she'll teach her children to be
"responsible and well-mannered" productive members of society.
In the long-term,
then, staying at home can benefit families financially and emotionally, and
provide a boon to future labor markets. While a stay-at-home parent can't really
use her or his experiences as resume fodder, caring for children requires
attention to detail, multitasking capabilities, and self-confidence - skills
that are necessary in any profession. "After being a stay-at-home mom to
two very active, non-sleeping boys, I feel confident that I could take on
nuclear engineering or anything else," said Mercer. "It is that
challenging, but equally rewarding, too."
While not for
everyone, staying at home not only benefits families as a whole, it specifically
benefits the mothers who do it. "If I were working, I would be so stressed
out with work and everything else that I wouldn't have time to see the little
things," Schulze said. "I wouldn't have relaxed as much, or taken the
time to stop and smell the flowers. I get to see life through a child's eyes,
and I wouldn't have gotten that chance."
So,
mommies-to-be, talk it over with your significant other, quit that day job, grab
the kids...and dream on!
(Originally
Published 10/01)
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